


Better half of me

by artsyleo



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Cute, Fluff, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired By Tumblr, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21838246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: A bunch of unrelated fics based on Better half of me by Tom Walker.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Better half of me

**Author's Note:**

> "Ben?" Callum asks, nerves unfortunately present in his voice.  
> "What's up, babe?" Ben asks, his concentration not really on Callum.  
> "What was it like before me?"  
> That got Ben's attention and a frown passed over his face as he sat up.  
> "I mean like, you, you're always close, an' that ain't a problem, I just- I'm sorry it's probably a stupid question, I'll shut up-"  
> "Stop stressin', will ya? You wanna hear about my life, I'll... tell ya."  
> -  
> This has been sat in my notes for like a week cus I couldn't get this one tumblr post about Ben out of my head and I love my boys so much omg (and we're all just gonna ignore the christmas spoiler pics bc I can't deal with that emotion rn)  
> Please enjoy this piece of crap  
> Leoooooo

Callum knows he isn't exactly experienced when it comes to relationships, but he knows in his heart that this thing with Ben - it's something great. Him and Ben are almost inseparable - when they're not together they're texting, exchanging little tidbits of information about their days - and Callum lives for that. He has always loved that personal connection with someone, the physicality - love expressed through a touch or a kiss, or a little surprise, over huge speeches or declarations of love. He's never exactly been great with words - they tend to get muddled in his head whenever he has something important to say, but luckily he knows that Ben understands; everything he doesn't say through words he says through his actions.  
So Callum has no quarrels with the fact that Ben's overly physical - Ben always has his hands on him, yes, often in a sexual way, but often just simple touches; reaching for Callum's hand in the street, or kissing his cheek as he leaves to get another drink in the Vic. In fact, it's one of the things that Callum loves about his relationship with Ben; after so many years of being scared, he can finally walk down the street holding his *boyfriend's* hand - he loves how free Ben is about the PDA. But a part of him can't help but wonder about it - Ben's need for a physical connection, and the barriers that seem to go up when the wrong person comes into view, where everything is just so different. 

It comes up one night when they've stayed in - Lexi has just finished school for Christmas and so Ben has had her all day, with Callum joining them after he finishes at the funeral parlour. They're curled up on the sofa at the Beales, most of the lights off and some old Christmas movie that Ben insists is 'the best, Callum!' on in the background. Callum is sat with his back against the back of the sofa, Ben's head in his lap and his soft hair running through his fingers. Ben looks blissed out; completely at peace after a long day (as much as Ben loves Lexi, anyone can see that she's at least a bit of a handful - she's definitely Ben's daughter). Callum hates to disturb the peace, but he's figured I'd be doesn't bring it up now he never will.  
"Ben?" Callum asks, nerves unfortunately present in his voice.  
"What's up, babe?" Ben asks, his concentration not really on Callum.  
"What was it like before me?"  
That got Ben's attention and a frown passed over his face as he sat up.  
"I mean like, you, you're always close, an' that ain't a problem, I just- I'm sorry it's probably a stupid question, I'll shut up-"  
"Stop stressin', will ya? You wanna hear about my life, I'll... tell ya."  
Ben took a deep breath, and took Callum's hand.  
"For me, when I was with Paul, I didn't know what I was doin'. It was the first time I'd ever had the chance to be, open, and happy. When I was a kid, Phil was never exactly affectionate, and especially after I came out we just- I knew I'd never get the dad I wanted, ya know? And Paul, he got that. It took me a while to get used to bein' able to just, love someone like that, and then, when I lost him..."  
Ben paused, tears evident in his eyes. Callum took his hands and stoked them gently, encouraging the words out of his boyfriend.  
"I think I've always loved the physical affection thing, what with growing up with Phil and then Stella and all that, and Paul got that, so when I didn't have him no more, I struggled a bit. Started doin' more deals, gettin' shit faced most nights, and wakin' up with someone else the next day. I thought it was something I could get with sex, hooking up every other night, but it just made me feel worse, cause I just- I love bein' close to someone, ya know? Cus I never really got it as a kid."  
"Yeah, I get it. It's okay, ya know, to want all that, 'specially after what you went through," Callum said softly.  
Ben just smiled, his heart leaping into his chest at Callum's soft smile.  
He was so caught up with Callum's smile that he didn't notice it when tears began sprouting in his eyes.  
"Hey, hey, don't cry," Callum whispered, wiping tears from under Ben's eyes.  
"Nah, I'm sorry I just- things are different with you, ya know?"  
Callum just smiled. "I'm happy. Come 'ere."  
Callum placed his hand on Ben's cheek and pressed their lips together.  
For once, Ben could breathe easy; he was right where he had to be.


End file.
